Christmas Vacation

We have been having the best time with our families in Oregon! We got about 3 inches of snow yesterday and they are forecasting more for today and tomorrow. We have been taking a TON of pictures, but here are just a few of my side of the family from our get-together before Christmas...












The whole clan

















My sister's family

















My brother's family

















Don't ask me why I'm making a weird face












Nolan and Zachary (my sister's youngest)

















Lauren & Nolan on my dad's bear footstool

December Festivities

Well, this is probably going to be my last post for a while because we leave in less than a week to go to Oregon for our Christmas vacation! We are all so excited and can't wait to see our families! It has been a busy couple of weeks since we got back from St. Louis...Last weekend, we took the kids to a town called McAdenville (about a 35 minute drive from here), which is also called "Christmastown". It is the cutest little town and they light everything up for Christmas. It was so fun to drive through and look at all the lights - they had signs that said "Happy Birthday Jesus" and the Baptist church in the middle of town had their church bells ringing to "O Come All Ye Faithful". It's moments like that where we just appreciate living in the South...you would never see any of that in liberal Oregon!! :) The kids loved it, especially Nolan who said "cool" for the first time.

Also last Wednesday, Nolan and I went to Lauren's chapel at school because she had her first speaking part! Her kindergarten class was reenacting the story from Luke about Jesus and the 10 lepers. Lauren was cast as Jesus, so it was a big deal. I asked her if she wanted to rehearse her lines and she said "Mommy, I already know my lines." And she proceeded to rattle them off to me in perfect form. She has obviously inherited my photographic memory! She did a great job and we got the whole thing on video...it was really cute because she tried to make her voice sound deep, like a man's!

This weekend, we celebrated Ryan's and Lauren's birthdays! We started off the fun yesterday by making homemade waffles (Ryan's favorite), bacon and orange juice for breakfast. Then, we had him open all his presents. I spent the rest of the morning baking the Cherry Chip cake that he and Lauren requested. And we had lots of great family time.

Lauren was surprised on her birthday (Sunday) with a breakfast in bed of cinnamon rolls, fruit and orange juice and we let her open her "big" present before church - my sister got her an American Girl doll. She was beyond thrilled...our eardrums are still recovering from the scream that she let out when she unwrapped it and caught sight of her doll. :) She was able to open the rest of her presents when we got home from church, but the doll (now named Emily) is still her favorite!

Fun in St. Louis

We had such a great time on our week-long vacation in St. Louis...it was very hard to leave! Ryan got to take Lauren on a date to the Arch and out to lunch one day, we got to go caroling and look at Christmas lights around town, I got to get a 2-hour massage (heavenly) and go shopping on Black Friday...and, most importantly, Ryan got to go shooting for a day and test out the rifle he has been working on. We played games almost every night and we both gained weight from all the fudge, stuffing and pie! So, pretty much, the best vacation EVER!!

Here are some pictures from our trip (the bear you see Lauren holding in the pictures is "Mr. Beary" - he is the class bear and is given to kids who display good behavior. They usually only get him for the weekend, but Lauren was allowed to take him for the week - we have to complete a journal for him with pictures of all the places she took him.):














All set to leave for the airport


















Lauren at the Arch














Mr. Personality














Watching football with Mr. Mader














Lauren & Nolan's "fort"

Thanksgiving Break

We won't be posting a blog for a while because we will be going to St. Louis for a week for Thanksgiving! My sister-in-law's parents must have decided we didn't do too much damage last year because they have graciously invited us back. :) We are very excited to get away and to not be by ourselves for the holiday...and I get to have my husband with me for a whole week! (Minus one day that he will be shooting, of course.)

We had so much fun there last year and this time will be even better now that Nolan is older - last year we had to work around his nursing schedule and he got an ear infection on Thanksgiving Day!! :( Please pray for safety for us as we travel and good health while on our vacation! I'm sure there will be lots of stories and pictures to post when we get back, so stay tuned...and Happy Thanksgiving!!

First Report Card

This week Lauren was sent home with her very first report card! We have our Parent/Teacher conference tomorrow night, so I knew we would get it before then. I was so anxious to see what her teacher had said so I peeked while we were sitting at a red light...I couldn't wait until we got home!

It made me so proud as I scanned the paper to see all the E's & M's (they don't get "real" grades yet - E means exceeds expectations and M means meets expectations). Of course, her E's were in the places I knew they would be: Bible, PE, Reading, Music/Drama. And, the poor girl is going to take after her mother and struggle with math (that was the only place she had a P...which means progressing towards expectations).

But, grades aside, the part that really made me want to brag on her was the comments her teacher wrote at the end: "Lauren brings wonderful thoughts and interest into the classroom. She has a vast knowledge of facts in science and the Bible. She is an amazing addition to our class."

I couldn't have been prouder at that moment. Yes, it is great that she has good grades, but nothing beats hearing that your child knows her Bible!! :)

More Updates

I heard back from the surgeon today who, after looking at the films from my CT-scan, confirmed that I do have a small abdominal hernia. Because it is a mild hernia and not causing me extreme amounts of pain, I asked him if we could postpone the surgery until after the holidays. (The last thing I want is to be recovering from surgery while we are on one of our trips - St. Louis for Thanksgiving and Oregon for Christmas.) Thankfully, he agreed...with the understanding that I will take it really easy and lay low for the next couple of months so as not to aggravate it or make it worse. And, of course, if it does suddenly worsen, we will schedule the surgery right away. But, I am hoping for the best and I am going to try my heardest to stay down and follow the doctors orders. Assuming I can and all goes well, I will have my surgery the 2nd week in January. Nothing like starting off the New Year with a bang!! :)

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, we finally finished getting Nolan's room repaired today - the carpet installers came this morning and laid the new carpet and we spent the remainder of the day, and part of the night, moving furniture back and rebuilding his crib. He was so excited to be sleeping in his room again and back in his crib (I think he was a little cramped in the pack & play in our room). And we are glad to be sleeping back in our bed tonight, too!

The Good Shepherd

I have another "short" story to add to this whole oil spill situation. After a trip to Lowe's to pick up some degreaser, Ryan went back into Nolan's room to try and clean the oil that had sprayed onto the baseboards and the side of his crib. When he got down there and began cleaning, he looked and saw that the oil had sprayed halfway up the wall on the side of his room where his crib was. Which means that he could have been covered with the oil, burnt by it or even ingested some of it, depending on where he was sleeping in his crib at the time of the accident.

Then, Ryan turned and saw the picture we have hanging in his room of Jesus holding a little lamb. It was as if the Lord was saying, "I was watching over him the whole time. I protected him from what could have been a life-threatening situation." How many times in our lives (and the lives of our children) does God protect us from harm that we don't even know about? There we were, sleeping peacefully through the night while oil was spraying all over Nolan's room...and we had no idea. How grateful we are for His provision for us!

"He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart."
~ Isaiah 40:11 ~

The Oil Fiasco

Ryan went to get Nolan out of bed this morning and as soon as he opened the door to his room, was hit with an eye-watering smell. He said he knew instantly what it was. We have a free-standing plug-in oil space heater in his room because he gets cold at night. We usually keep it on a low setting and have had it since Lauren was a baby and used it in her room when she was little. Well, it decided to "die" on us last night (or this morning - we aren't sure when it happened). But, instead of just not working, it leaked/sprayed oil all over the carpet, the wall, the side of his crib, etc.

My first reaction was panic that he had been breathing those awful oil fumes all night. So, we did searches on the internet and called the fire department. But, thankfully, he wasn't displaying any of the warning signs for chemical poison/inhalation. Once we determined that he was okay, we had to move on to figure out what to do with the carpet and everything in his room that smelled like oil. (Keep in mind that our house is up for sale and we could have a showing at any moment...)

We called cleaning services that deal with hazardous spills, carpet installation companies and heating specialists for their expert opinions. What we decided to do was move everything out of his room, wash all his clothing, bedding and stuffed animals that absorbed the fumes and remove the part of the carpet that was soaked with oil. We opened windows and turned on fans to try to help it air out. But, even then, all I can smell as I walk through the house is oil - yuck!! We had to set up the pack & play in our bedroom for him to sleep in until we fix his room.

Ryan scheduled for a cleaning company to come out tomorrow - they said they could get the oil up out of the floor board beneath the carpet. Once that is done, we have to go to Lowe's to find a match to our current carpet and have them come install new carpet in his room. Of course, we are trying to do this as quickly as we can because 1) until then, Nolan has no room to sleep in and 2) our house is for sale and this will delay any showings.

Despite the stress that a crisis like this brings, Ryan and I were able to laugh about it and display one of our strongest suits, which is teamwork. It is funny how ever since we listed our house for sale, it seems that we have had one problem after another. I guess that is Murphy's Law for you! Here are some pictures from our adventure this morning:

Update #2

The CT scan was negative - praise the Lord! I now have an appointment with a surgeon for Monday afternoon. He should be able to confirm the abdominal hernia and schedule the surgery (hopefully for before the holiday!).

My husband gets major points for taking Lauren on her class field trip today (he'll be posting pictures of that later) and for taking the day off tomorrow to help me out at home!! More to come...

Quick Update

Thank you so much to everyone who has responded with prayers and encouragement after our last post. I wanted to post a quick update with where we are at:

The CT scan did not get scheduled last week due to a pre-authorization needed from our insurance company. So, I will go in tomorrow evening at 7:30pm (EST) for the test. Thankfully, they were willing to do it in the evening to accomodate Ryan's work schedule (so he can be home with the kids).

Since last Thursday, they were able to do some tests for other possible illnesses - those came back today and were negative. So, we were able to rule out ulcerative colitis, IBS and Crohn's disease. That is good news!

Again, if the CT scan shows nothing significant, I will then be referred to a surgeon who will most likely perform an ultrasound to confirm the abdominal hernia. Thanks again for your prayers - I will post more as soon as we know!

Never a Dull Moment

Ryan and I always "joke" at the beginning of a new year that this will be the year with NO major medical issues. And I always fully believe it when I say that! Every year since Lauren was born, one or both of us has had significant illnesses. I had two surgeries, Ryan had shingles, I had mono (the 3rd time), Ryan had pneumonia and I had mono (the 4th time). Maybe we shouldn't joke about it anymore...or we should knock on wood?

I have been feeling this lump on the right side of my abdomen for over a month now. But, I have been ignoring it because it wasn't causing me pain and because I didn't want to spend the money to have it looked at. As time has gone on, it has increased and is now quite uncomfortable. I finally broke down and told Ryan that I thought I needed to have it looked at. So, today I went in - they think it is possibly an abdominal hernia. But, they are going to do a CT-scan tomorrow to check for solid masses and rule the other options out. Assuming the CT-scan is negative, they will refer me to a surgeon to fix the hernia.

Another surgery! Needless to say, I am not thrilled about the prospect of this. But, thankfully, my mom is willing and able to fly out to help me during the recovery period and we are hoping I will be healed enough to enjoy our trip to St. Louis for Thanksgiving. You would think after 2 c-sections and 2 other abdominal surgeries that I would be used to it. But I am a terrible patient (Ryan will be ecstatic that I admitted this) and it is so hard for me to stay down and let other people do the things I would normally be doing.

So, please pray that if it is a hernia, they will be able to quickly get me in for the operation. And if it isn't a hernia, they will know what the next steps are that need to be taken.

Touch-A-Truck

Today we went to a fundraiser at a nearby park (proceeds were for cancer research) where they brought in all kinds of trucks, dirt movers, fire and emergency vehicles, etc...and the kids could climb on them, honk the horns and pretend to drive them. It was a HUGE event and in addition to the trucks and race cars and bulldozers, there were pony rides, inflatable castles and even a helicopter! The kids had SO much fun and the weather couldn't have been better for it.

Here are some pictures from our fun day:














Nolan & I in the "scooper"














Lauren hitching a ride














Nolan's favorite truck














Getting ready to ride the pony














Hopefully his only time in the back of an ambulance














Best friends

Move Update

Alot of people have asked me lately what is going on with the house, the move, etc...so I figured I had better post an update! I guess I haven't written about it because not much has happened. We have continued to have people come and look at the house (although it has slowed down considerably since school started) and we have had alot of positive feedback. But, either the buyers have their house to sell first or they decided to build instead, etc. There seems to always be a reason that we aren't getting an offer.

So, we have just made the best of our situation. Ryan was able to talk to his boss about leaving the office at 4 (he works through his lunch hour), so that way he gets home at 6 and we can all have dinner together and the kids get more time with him before bed. That has been a HUGE blessing for all of us!! He does still have to leave the house before 6am each day and I know he's getting tired of the long drive. But, the Lord has blessed him with safety on the road and we are grateful for that.

Lauren has settled in at her school (Grace Covenant Academy) and is doing so great in kindergarten. In fact, I would feel terrible if we did get an offer on the house and had to pull her out before she could finish out the year. Nolan misses his sister during the day, but it has given us some great bonding time. He has become a total mama's boy and it is so adorable!! This is my favorite age (18 mos-2 yrs) so I am savoring all the sweet moments because I know the terrible 2's are just around the corner!

We continue to trust God for His perfect timing and do our best to stay positive in these challenging times!

Hunter's Education

I (Ryan) recently took a Hunter's Education course at Remington in order to get my hunting license. This fall, providing I can fit it in, I intend to go hunting for the first time. I haven't really talked to the kids about it, but Lauren was keen to the fact that I wasn't home before she went to bed one night last week and had overheard that I was in a hunting class. Here is the conversation that took place the next evening at dinner...

Lauren: "Daddy, did you learn how to hunt last night?"

Daddy: "Well, I didn't really learn to hunt. I just learned how to be safe when I do go hunting."

Lauren: "Because, Daddy, I was looking at the book you brought home and it had a deer on it. Are you going to be hunting deers?"

Daddy: "Now that I took the class I can hunt all sorts of things. But, yeah, I can hunt deer, too."

Lauren: "Daddy, I don't want you to hunt deers! I like them and they are cute. If you are going to go hunt I want you to hunt something else. Like foxes, or bears, because they can be mean - you can hunt those and that will be okay. And, if your boss says, 'Hey guys, let's go on a field trip and hunt some deers' you just tell him 'No way. I'm not hunting deers. I'm just going to hunt foxes and bears.' Okay, Daddy? You can just tell him that."

Recent Pics

First Day of School

Monday was a momentous day for Lauren as she had her first day of kindergarten. I know everyone says it, but honestly…when did my little girl get so grown-up?!? Being a completely new school for her and not knowing a single kid there, she still wasn’t nervous – just very excited and curious. She had met her teacher the Friday night before when we attended the orientation, so she felt good about that. She marched right in with her backpack on and proudly walked over to the desk with her name on it. It all felt so surreal to me; almost like I was having an out-of-body experience. I just watched this confident, cheerful little girl walk around the room, introduce herself to the other kids and “jump right in” to her surroundings…absolutely no fear whatsoever. And I had to ask for a hug when it was time for us to leave – I’m not even sure she would have noticed we had left or cared to say goodbye to us.

As we walked out of the room, the tears started to come. I know that this is just the beginning of many times throughout her life when I have to let go of her, trust her to someone else’s care and pray that she will be okay. But, knowing that sure didn’t make it any easier today! Thankfully, they had a little brunch/social arranged in another room for all of the Kindergarten parents. So, I found I wasn’t the only one struggling to come to grips with what this day meant. It was a great time to meet some of the other moms and get to know each other better. I am so relieved that she is attending a Christian school and I know that is where God wants her to be for now. We don’t know how long she will get to be there, but we are trusting the Lord for those details.

The night before her first day, after we put Nolan to bed, we spent some time with Lauren talking about the school year. I decided that every year before she starts school, Ryan and I together will pick a Bible verse for her…that will be her verse for the year. We, of course, will seek the Lord’s guidance on what is appropriate based on where she is at and what she needs to hear most. I had the verse printed on some pretty cardstock and framed it. We gave it to her last night and it will sit on her dresser until she starts 1st grade and gets a new verse…and so on. This year her verse was Colossians 3:23 & 24b. Because she is so much like her mother, with perfectionistic tendencies, and she can get really down on herself for not doing something perfectly or as good as someone else did, etc...we felt this verse was a great reminder for her. It states: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men. It is the Lord you are serving.” And that is my prayer for Lauren this year – that she will shine her light bright for others to see and that she will bring glory to God in her school!

Here are some pictures from the morning:

A Prayer for My Sister

Tomorrow (Monday) my older sister, Kelly, will be going in for major back surgery. They are attempting to correct a bulging disc she has been dealing with in her back for a long time. She has seen several physical therapists, tried different exercises and been on countless pain medications and muscle relaxers. It has caused her chronic pain and severely altered her quality of life. And this is a woman who has a VERY high pain tolerance! Yet, despite her physical struggles, she has continued to praise the Lord and serve others…what an amazing example!!

So, it is my prayer that the surgery not only be a success, but that the recovery will go smoothly and she will heal 100%. It is so hard knowing that she is going through something like this and I cannot be there to help in some way. But, I know that God will continue to be her strength and her "Jehovah-Rapha" (the Lord who heals).

This Too Shall Pass

When this journey first began, my resolve was unshakably strong.
But now I’m growing weary of this path You’ve placed me on.
I feel my faith is fading and I’m questioning You more.
The voices of fear inside my head are difficult to ignore.

Each day is such a struggle, just to make it through.
Seems like there’s no joy to be found, no matter what I do.
Stuck in this survival mode with no relief in sight.
I pray, at the end of this tunnel, there will be a light.

But You have said, “All things work for good…”, so I’ll keep trusting You,
Asking for strength every day that You’ll help carry me through,
Believing that this trial is all a part of Your plan,
And resting in the promise that You hold me in Your hands.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

Endurance

Just wanted to update everyone on the situation with Nolan - thank you so much for your encouraging emails and notes...and words of wisdom! He is now sleeping through the night again and is falling asleep much better without the hour of screaming first. However, on Monday I noticed these raised red bumps all over his diaper area and around his mouth. He was also running a low-grade fever, so I figured it was diaper rash and due to teething and I didn't think much of it. Then, the bumps appeared on his hands, feet and inside his mouth. I called the doctor and, as it turns out, he has hand-foot-and-mouth disease. If it isn't one thing, it's another!! Unfortunately, it is a virus and there is nothing we can give him. The poor guy is so uncomfortable and now all his bumps are blistering and they look awful! It should only last another week, though, and he'll be back on the mend. But, until then, we have one fussy kid on our hands!

After all of this, I have to admit I was left thinking, "What else, Lord?!" Then I read something that shifted me back into the right perspective:

"When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives my brothers, don't resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realize that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance. But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become women of mature character, women of integrity with no weak spots. If, in the process, any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem she has only to ask God, who gives generously to all without making them feel guilty, and she may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given her." (James 1:2-5, Phillips translation)

So, I am now praying for endurance...not that the hard times will cease, but that I will press on, realizing with every step that He is growing me through these trials and pulling me ever closer to His side. I love the reassuring words in Psalm 121:1-5a:

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you."

Separation Anxiety

Well, this week brought a new set of challenges with Nolan. Wednesday night after Ryan put him to bed, he was having a hard time going to sleep. He was really crying hard and we were in the tv room, commenting on how odd that was. Then, all of a sudden, I heard his door knob turn and he came walking out of his room and down the hall. My heart stopped beating and Ryan and I both ran to get him before he tumbled down the stairs. He had figured out how to climb out of his crib...oh joy! Unfortunately, because of his height, it is no trouble for him at all to just swing his leg over and down he goes. We never had this issue with Lauren so we weren't quite sure what to do. We decided we had to teach him (for safety sake) that he couldn't climb out. So, we had to discipline him each time and put him back to bed...then wait outside his door for him to do it all over again. It took about an hour and a half of this before he finally fell asleep. The next morning for his first nap, we went through it once again. But, in the afternoon, he didn't try to climb out at all - discipline works...yeah!!! We were feeling so proud and victorious...until we realized we weren't in the clear yet.

The problem now is that, even though he isn't attempting to get out, he is crying for an hour before he will fall asleep. And, on top of that, he is waking up at 2am and 4am crying as if someone is hurting him...and it takes him an hour or two to fall back asleep. We have tried rocking with him, consoling him, singing to him, and just leaving him be to cry it out. And still nothing has worked yet. We are exhausted!! His voice is hoarse from all the crying and he has dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. We are completely stumped! He continues to be our challenging child. :( I had taken him to the doctor earlier in the week because he had been so fussy - his ears were fine and the strep test came back negative. So, I know he isn't sick. He could be teething or it could be that he is going through the phase of separation anxiety. Things have been much harder on the kids with Ryan not around as much and I wonder if that has played into it at all? The problem is that we can't change that until the house sells, so we are stuck trying to work something out until then.

So, please PRAY for us as we struggle to figure this out with him - that the Lord will give us the rest we all need (somehow), that He will give us the wisdom and discernment to know how to treat this situation with Nolan and that this phase will pass quickly! Also, if any of you out there reading this have gone through something similar with any of your kids around this same age (16 mos), your advice is welcome!!!

A Milestone

Lauren officially entered the big kid club last week when she lost her first tooth!! Her bottom two teeth in the front have been very wiggly for some time and the new tooth was already coming in behind one of them. The other day she was out on the screened-in porch with Nolan and she came running inside the house screaming, holding the tooth in her hand. We had a little celebration, which was apparently too loud for Nolan because he started crying. :(

The tooth fairy came that night and left her 50 cents, which she thought was pretty cool. As a side note, I never realized how difficult it is BEING the tooth fairy. Ryan was on a trip when this all occured, so it was up to me. I put her to bed at her usual time and figured I would sneak in before I went to bed at 10. Well, she was so excited about the tooth fairy coming that when I opened her door, she sat up and said "hi, mommy". I very sternly told her that it was extremely late and that if she didn't go to sleep, the tooth fairy wouldn't come. So, I then had to set my alarm for the middle of the night, to ensure that she would be sound asleep when I crept in. When the alarm went off at 1:45am, I completely forgot about my plan at first and couldn't figure out why it was ringing. A few minutes later I remembered, stumbled out of bed, grabbed the quarters and headed upstairs as quietly as I could. Of course, her bedroom door sticks, so it made a noise when I opened it. She stirred a little bit and I stood there holding my breath. Thankfully, I had convinced her to put the tooth on her nightstand, instead of under her pillow (because she is such a light sleeper, I knew there was no way I could get it from underneath her head without waking her up). I tiptoed over to the side of her bed, grabbed the tooth, put down the money and raced out...just as she was rolling over and opening her eyes. YIKES!!

The funniest part about it was that in the morning, she proudly came downstairs for breakfast carrying her change with a smile on her face. Then, she proceeded to tell me that she saw the tooth fairy in her room last night. I was surprised (and a little concerned) by this and so I asked what she looked like. She described her as having short blonde hair and said that she was wearing a long blue skirt (I was wearing long blue pajama pants) and a white shirt (I was wearing a white tank top). I had to laugh a little inside. Who knows how long she'll go on believing in the "tooth fairy" before she figures it out. But, until then, I may have to work on my approach and exit! :)

Here's her new toothless grin:

A Day at The Zoo

We have been promising Lauren since we moved here that we would take her to the zoo. Back in Oregon, we had a zoo membership and lived less than 20 minutes away from it, so we went ALL the time! But, we haven't been able to go here in North Carolina yet...mainly because it is a 2 hour drive to the nearest zoo. Well, we finally did it! Ryan had the day off on Friday for the 4th of July holiday, so after breakfast Friday morning, we packed up and hit the road.

The kids did fairly well on the car ride down. Lauren played her Leapster most of the way and Nolan played with toys and looked at some books. At one point, I did have to climb in the backseat and wedge myself between their car seats to help calm him down. But, after 2 hours in the car, we finally made it to the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, South Carolina!

This zoo was much different than the one in Oregon - the main difference being that the animals are all so close. Maybe this one was done before they tried to make zoos more of a "natural preserve"...but it was great for us because we got to see everything so close up. They also had an aquarium there with tropical fish, snakes and lizards (which Nolan loved). We got to ride on the carousel, play on the playground, have a picnic lunch at the gardens and take a tram ride. It was such a fun day for the kids and it was very cute to watch Nolan react to seeing all those animals for the first time. Here are some pictures from our zoo adventure:





Lauren "milking the cow" at the Farm






Posing with the statues





Nolan running around the penguin exhibit






Two very tired kiddos

How About A Little Perspective?

I am not sure why it is, but I seem to do some of my best soul-searching while running on the treadmill. Maybe it's because it is one of the only times during my day when I can escape everything else around me and just think and talk with God. Well, Monday morning, I had the chance to do this. It had been a wonderful weekend of great family time and some good "breaks" for me and there I was, facing another week...and facing my depression about our situation.

As I was running and listening to some good music and talking to God, I felt Him speaking to me. And suddenly, it was like the windows opened up and the sun came shining in. I realized that I have been outwardly "accepting" our current circumstances...but I have been inwardly refusing it. I have basically been saying to God (in my well-perfected passive way) that I am not okay with this change of events so I am going to focus on the negative and allow Satan to discourage me and throw a little pity party for myself. I have been bemoaning to everyone how terrible it is and how much I hate my life right now, etc., etc.

I realized that I haven't been looking at the good things. I haven't even been trying to find the joy in the midst of this trial. And, worst of all, I haven't been allowing God to use this time to grow my faith and teach me something. After all of this hit me, I asked for forgiveness and asked for His strength to help me live each day with joy and thankfulness in my heart. That doesn't mean that I still won't have difficult days or times when I feel hopeless or moments where I am lonely and stressed. But, I now CHOOSE to focus on the good...and in those hard times, remind myself that "this too shall pass".

I Believe

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt; I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything.
So I'll stand in the pain and silence,
And I'll speak to the dark night...

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining.
I believe in love even when I don't feel it;
And I believe in God even when He is silent.

Though I can't see my stories ending,
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end.
It's only here that I find faith,
And learn to trust the one who writes my days.
So I'll stand in the pain and silence,
And I'll speak to the dark night...

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining.
I believe in love even when I don't feel it;
And I believe in God even when He is silent.

No dark can consume Light;
No death greater than this life.
We are not forgotten.
Hope is found when we say...

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining.
I believe in love even when I don't feel it;
And I believe in God even when He is silent.
And I, I believe...

Long Time, No Change

I know it has been a while since I've posted anything. Time just got away from me. My mom was here for 2 weeks, which was wonderful (thanks to her for all her help)! And Ryan has started traveling for work, so I'm just treading water over here! We have had a good amount of showings on the house, but people seem to have one complaint or another (no granite and SS appliances, great room is too small, etc.). It is very frustrating and this new schedule we have as a family is wearing on all of us. Ryan has to leave the house so early each morning because it takes him almost 2 hours to get to work...and then he doesn't get home until 7:00pm each night. So, he gets to see the kids for only an hour (if that) before it's bedtime. And we don't get to eat meals together anymore.

It has definitely taken a toll on me and I've found myself struggling more emotionally than I anticipated. I try to remind myself that this is all part of God's plan and so maybe He is trying to teach me something through this...but some days it's hard to see the silver lining. Also not knowing how permanent this solution will be makes it difficult. Because if the house doesn't sell in 6 months, we will take it off the market and stay here until next summer...thus continuing the commuting schedule for Ryan. I know I shouldn't complain because I have friends whose husbands travel and are gone much more than this. But, I think it's all relative based on what you are used to. I am hoping once we adjust to this "new kind of normal" it won't be so hard.

All of that to say that we would certainly appreciate your prayers - that the house would sell and close before August 1st (so Lauren can be settled and start school up there) and that I will make it through this transition time without losing my sanity!!

Virtual Tour

Conventional wisdom wouldn't lead a rational person to try and sell a house in this real estate market. But we aren't rational people. Or at least, God doesn't always call His people to do rational things. He doesn't appear as awesome when he calls people to buy low, sell high. So, we have our house on the market and are hopeful we can move in time for the school year to start and Lauren can begin Kindergarten at the school we selected for her.

Our realtor, a very nice gentleman named Ray Lyles, had someone come out and create a virtual tour of our home. You might enjoy seeing it, as it shows the house better than we have shared here before. You can see it here: Virtual Tour

We have had two showings in the first week and we are hopeful that God will move swiftly on our behalf. -- RTS

Remington Arms Co.

I officially started my new job at Remington Arms Co. this week. My new job title is Brand Manager - Law Enforcement/Tactical Firearms. This encompasses shotguns, sniper rifles and assualt rifles intended for LE or tactical consumers.

I call it a job, but Kimberly thinks it is laughable that I get paid to do this type of stuff. To some extent I feel the same way. For instance, my first business trip in mid-June is a three day live fire orientation on the new military platform weapons that the company is developing. That hardly sounds like I'm laboring. Of course I joke, because there is a tremendous amount of marketing and brand strategy that is required in the Law Enforcement market for Remington to be successful, and this is a newly created position with no road-map to follow. So, in truth, this may be the most challenging role I have ever served in.

I won't bring a lot of specifics about my work to this blog, only because I don't know if the interest level is there. What is most important for me to share is that I am tremendously grateful for God's blessing and timing, I am thankful for a job that combines what I'm good at with what I'm passionate for, and I can already see that I will fit in nicely and can flourish here. -- RTS

Lauren Graduates Preschool

Today was Lauren's big day - and even all these hours later, I still can't believe it! She is getting so grown-up and today was a big exclamation point to that fact. The ceremony was very cute - they sang "God Bless America " and a couple other songs before they received their diplomas. Her teachers said how much they are going to miss her (they had nicknamed her "Lu-Lu") and how she is one of the brightest students they've ever had (the only one in the class that was reading). We are incredibly proud of our little girl and are excited for what the next chapter of her life (kindergarten) holds!

Answer to Prayer

We got a call this morning from the Relocation Coordinator and it was good news! The numbers came in and we can pick the realtor that we liked - Praise the Lord!! We called him right away to let him know and he is bringing the paperwork over tomorrow afternoon for us to sign. The only other thing we have to do before we list the house is get the carpets cleaned and we will be ready to go!

We do still need prayer as we are trying to decide what is the right amount to list the house for. We know that we are going to lose money...it is just a matter of how much. And we would definitely like to sell within 30-60 days because that would mean less commuting for Ryan and more time to get settled in up there before Lauren has to start school. So, please pray that the Lord will show us where that "sweet spot" is and that we won't let our pride get in the way!

Pictures!!

It has been a while since I've posted pictures of the kids, so I figured it was about time! Here are some cute recent ones of the two of them:














Nolan being silly














Having fun before bedtime














All dressed for her "date" with Daddy














Nolan's favorite place to be

Walk by Faith

Did I mention in my last post that I felt like we had jumped on a moving train? Well, today felt more like a roller-coaster ride...at least emotionally. The 2nd of our two realtors came out this morning to show us the comparable houses in the neighborhood that were for sale and had recently sold. It painted a very gloomy picture for us - so much so, in fact, that after she left we were wondering if we shouldn't try to sell the house at all, but just have Ryan commute until the market improves. Her numbers made us feel like we couldn't even sell the house for what our mortgage is. Suddenly, our minds were racing with thoughts of losing all our equity and having to start over with nothing.

We both felt like a heavy weight had been placed on our shoulders. After the realtor left, Lauren overheard us talking about all of this. I didn't want her to worry so I told her that no matter what happens, we will always have each other, she will always have a place to live, food, clothes and that God is going to take care of us. At that moment, Ryan had to leave the room because it was too much for him. I followed him into the bedroom and Lauren was right behind me. We all cried and hugged and reassured one another (while Nolan was stuck in his high-chair wondering where everyone had gone).

This afternoon, after we had fully recovered from the first meeting (and prayed!), the realtor we had met with earlier in the week came back out to give us his analysis of what he thought we could list our house for. Not only were his numbers encouraging, he took time to address some of our concerns, helped talk through our fears and we even shared our faith with him! It was a much better meeting and we agreed that we definitely want him selling our house for us.

Both realtors have sent their proposals to the Relocation Coordinator. As long as their suggestions for list price are within 5% of one another, we can pick one of them and move forward with listing the house. However, if they are more than 5% apart, the Relocation company will ask for a 3rd opinion and we will then have to choose from the 2 lowest. So...my prayer request now (for all you faithful blog readers) is that we won't need a 3rd opinion and we can choose the realtor we like.

It was definitely a rough day for us all. But, as I told Ryan, this wouldn't be the first time that God has worked a miracle in our lives. And He has moved bigger mountains than this! So, that is what we are asking for now - a miracle. We heard a song on the radio today that was so appropriate for what we are facing...

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Stop This Train

Well, now that Ryan has officially accepted the offer with Remington and signed all the paperwork, things have begun to move rather quickly! His first day on the job will be May 26th. So, thankfully, we get another week or so with him at home. Because of the way they have structured the relocation package (giving us a lump sum and we decide how to use it), we calculated that the least expensive option is for him to drive back and forth (a 2-hour commute each way) every day. I know that sounds crazy, but we have to save money as much as possible. We are just going to stock him up with some good audio books and pray that his car can handle all those miles we'll be putting on it!

Yesterday we were contacted by our relocation coordinator. She is the one who helps us find a realtor, reimburses us for things along the way and helps with any issues we may have. She must be extremely efficient, because shortly after we spoke to her, we received calls from 2 local realtors who wanted to come look at the house and take pictures. They will give us an estimate of what they think we can list our house for based on the market conditions, etc. The first one is coming this afternoon, so I am rushing around and trying to clean up!

My mom is flying into town next Thursday and will be staying with us for 2 weeks. We are all so excited to have her here and I know she will be a tremendous help to us. In fact, we will be putting her right to work, because I have scheduled school visits with 4 christian schools in Winston-Salem for the day after she arrives. So, we will be leaving the kids with her and driving up to find a school for Lauren. Most of these schools start the 2nd or 3rd week in August. So, that means that even if our house hasn't sold yet, we will be moving and living in some kind of temporary housing so she can start school.

For those of you who have been asking, I am on the mend and starting to get back to normal. I am not there yet, as Ryan tries to daily remind me when I am doing too much. I have good days and I have days where I have no energy whatsoever. But, I am doing my best to juggle all this and try not to let myself get discouraged. I will say that I have definitely reached that point where I am tired of being tired! I am so ready to have my life back and there are times I want to just jump back into things...but I can't.

Lauren is handling the change well and is very excited to graduate from preschool next week. It is good that she has that going on because it has helped distract her from the other things, which might normally be very unsettling for a 5-year-old. She is also thrilled that Grandma will be here for her spring dance recital on the 30th. In her words, she gets to "wear a Cinderella dress and dance for Jesus". :)

This week, it definitely became real to us that all this was happening. We are moving and there is no turning back. In many ways, I feel like we have jumped on a moving train and there is no way to get off. There is an element of excitement anytime you move...new house, new church, new friends, new opportunities. And I think we are always very curious when we see the Lord move like this in our lives - we know He's up to something, we're just not sure yet what it is or what it means. I am doing my best not to dwell on the fact that this move means it will be longer (if ever) before we are able to move back to Oregon. That's a very hard pill for me to swallow because I miss my family so much. But, I have to remind myself that He will never give me more than I can bear and there is nothing I need that He cannot provide.

More Good News

I have a feeling I'm going to be posting alot more blogs in the weeks to come as things start to move and change quickly! The first piece of good news/answer to prayer is that Remington called last night and made an offer over the phone to Ryan. The HR Director said that once she told the VP of Marketing that Ryan had another offer already, he made everyone stay late to put something together fast because they really wanted him. That was a huge ego boost for him! Not only did they rush to make the offer, but it was quite a bit more than the first one he'd received and even more than he was making at Rubbermaid. Isn't God good?!?

He still has a few more details to work out with them, but he will be accepting their offer this week. So, that means we will be moving to Winston-Salem! I had the not-so-fun task of calling the school where we had Lauren enrolled for kindergarten to let them know she wouldn't be attending. They were gracious enough to make an exception (due to our circumstances) and refund us the registration and enrollment fees we had paid. They were very sad that Lauren wouldn't be there this year, but I believe that her spot will go to someone who really needs it.

The other answer to prayer is that I called around to 4 different christian schools in the Winston-Salem area this morning...and 3 of the 4 still had openings for their kindergarten class. That was a huge relief to me - and the tuition at all of these schools is much less than we would have been paying had we stayed here. It seems to be just one blessing after another today!! We are hoping to fly my mom out the week after next so she can stay with the kids while we drive up to visit schools and secure Lauren a spot for the fall.

While there are still so many pieces of this puzzle that have yet to be put together, we are so thrilled to know where we are going now. God has blessed Ryan with the job of his dreams and we can already see His hand in this move. All we have to do is continue trusting Him and follow the path He has laid for us.

The End of the Road

Well, it has been a long 4 months since Ryan was laid off from Rubbermaid. During that time we have grown closer as a family and learned radical dependence on the Lord as we trusted Him to lead us. Yesterday we caught a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. Ryan received a call from a recruiter he's been working with - she informed him that Pure Fishing (Jarden) in Columbia, SC had made him an offer! Praise the Lord!! Although it wasn't as much as he was making at Rubbermaid, it was a job...and for that, we were grateful.

Today, Ryan left early in the morning to make the long drive to Madison, NC to have his final round of interviews with Remington. He just called me a few minutes ago and said that he was done and that they are putting an offer together! They will have it to him by Thursday so he can compare the two offers and make a decision. Although, we already feel that the Lord is leading us to take the Remington job.

We are amazed at how God has provided for us during the months that Ryan was unemployed. And it is just like Him to take us right to the end of our severance pay (so that we have to trust that He will provide)...and then not one, but TWO offers have come in. We are basking in the glow of His faithfulness today and are eagerly waiting on Him to see what is next! For those of you who are regularly praying for us, here are our new requests:

1) That our house will sell quickly
2) That we will find a Christian school that has an opening for Lauren this fall
3) That we will find a house quickly

In many ways, it feels like the end of a long journey...but it also feels like the beginning of a new one. The Lord has moved us before and He is calling us to move again (thankfully, not as far this time). And we know that His ways are greater than ours, so we are anxious to see what He has for us in a new city, new job, new church, etc!

Praise be to the One "who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20).

Family Visit

We are getting so excited as we prepare for my brother, his wife and their 2 older boys to come stay with us. They are in Orlando now visiting DisneyWorld for the 1st time as a family. At the end of their trip, they are renting a car and driving the 8 hours to NC and will stay with us for a long weekend. Lauren is beyond thrilled that her cousins are coming - Evan is 9 mos older than her and Caden is 10 mos younger, so they are all very close in age and have such a great time playing together.

We have some fun things planned for while they are here, but we're mainly looking forward to just spending time with them, since we haven't seen them since December! We aren't sure if we will get to see them this coming Christmas, so that makes their trip here even more special. They arrive this Thursday night and leave to head back to Oregon on Sunday morning. I'm doing my best not to stress myself out about having the house perfect, because I know I can't be doing all I would normally do right now. I do plan on baking a few special things and I think we might let the kids set up our small camping tent in the piano room to sleep in. :) I'm sure I'll have lots of pictures and stories to post after their visit!

Quick Update

I received the call late yesterday afternoon that the CT-scan was clear...no abnormal masses. This morning they called with the bloodwork results. My white blood cell count was not normal, but not so "off" that they suspected cancer. So, they don't feel further tests are necessary at this time. They believe I have a rare and severe strain of mono and it simply has to run its course. If I am not beginning to feel better in 3-4 weeks, then I will go back in and have them re-run the blood tests to make sure we aren't missing something. All in all, I feel relieved. I wish I was physically feeling better, but I will take mono over cancer any day. :)

Also, Ryan had his interview in SC today with Pure Fishing. It went very well and the recruiter who is working with him on this job said she wouldn't be surprised if they made him an offer before the end of the month. AND...Ryan got a call this evening from his former boss at Rubbermaid. He told him that Remington had just called to ask for his reference and that they are excited about Ryan and will probably call him back for one more interview with Chief Marketing Officer sometime next week. Very good news!! So, we are praying that the timing works out so that he gets both offers around the same time. Obviously, it isn't up to us to pick, but we know the Lord will make it clear where He wants us to be.

Lastly, I want to thank our family and friends for the incredible outpouring of prayer and encouragement we have received this week. From calls and emails, to people bringing us groceries and coming to pray with us...we feel so humbled and blessed and grateful for each one of you and your willingness to serve and support us during this time of uncertainty.

Our Hope Endures

Well, it has been an interesting week in our house. Just as I thought I was beginning to feel better with the mono, my fever came back Sunday night. All of a sudden, my throat started hurting again and the exhaustion returned. I was so discouraged and I assumed I was just relapsing. But, as the pain in my throat grew worse, I thought I had better go in to the doctor, just to be sure.

So, this morning I dropped Lauren off at school and went in. After telling the doctor all my symptoms and showing her the now-visible bumps in my throat, she said she thought we needed to have blood work and a CT-scan done right away. She said the bumps in my throat were aphthous stomatitis, which is something you can get when your immune system is weakened. She gave me a prescription for that to help with the discomfort. The reason she wanted to run the other tests was because the symptoms I'd been having were consistent with certain types of cancer...specifically lymphoma and leukemia. It's difficult not to react when you hear those words. But, I did my best to stay positive throughout the morning as the tests were performed.

They should be calling this afternoon with the results of the CT-scan. And the blood work may take a little longer. Hopefully, before the end of the week, we will know what we are dealing with.

It's amazing to me, in times like this, how God chooses to reveal Himself and speak to us. As I was driving to the doctor's office this morning, this song came on the radio that I had never heard before. I felt like it was a message just for me from the Lord...and it was His way of reminding me that regardless of the outcome, He will be faithful to carry me through.

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is torn
With illness, but she marches on.
Because sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

Remington Interview

Okay, here is a quick update on the job front. I had the interview with Remington on Monday. I drove up in the morning (about 115 miles from our place), caught lunch and interviewed throughout the afternoon. I met with one director and two VP's, including the hiring manager. The position is just being created and will be tasked with creating a comprehensive, over-arching strategy for Law Enforcement and Tacital firearms across the Remington, Bushmaster and DPMS-Panther brands. In short - the coolest job ever!

Since this is a big deal to me I took some extra steps to get ready for the interview. Back when I worked for Gerber Legendary Blades I actually developed a number of products for the Law Enforcement and Military communities, so I was able to leverage a lot of that work in the interview. Over the weekend I built a portfolio book of presentations, documents and a special set of references that I could leave with the hiring manager. I also brought 6 samples of product to show what types of product I had developed and the inspiration for them. He seemed impressed that I took those extra steps and I hope it was enough to sway things in my favor. It cost me $50 out of pocket just to make the portfolio book, but it will be worth it if I get the offer.

I got a really good feel for the company and what the opportunity for growth is. I would really like this job if it came my way. I also got to drive through Winston-Salem, which is most likely where we would move to if I got this offer. They have one more person to interview and then they should be getting back to me early next week.

Next week on the 22nd I have been invited to go down to Columbia, SC to interview with Jarden/Pure Fishing. So, I will post an update on that one afterwards. Thank you to everyone who has been prayerfully supporting and encouraging me during this time - it is definitely appreciated!

Pictures

I figured it has been a while since I've posted some updated pictures of the kids, so here they are:






Nolan on the move








Having an ice-cream sundae as a special treat



I love this picture because it is the perfect representation of my kids personalities - there's Lauren all smiley and cheery and Nolan is "Mr. Sober".








Our first spring dress of the season













Little Boy in 'da hood!

Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo!

Two weeks ago, before I knew I had mono, I was asked by the youth pastor's wife from our church to be "Cinderella" for her daughter's 5th birthday. Having a 5-year-old who is totally into princesses, I could completely relate, so I agreed. She found a dress on eBay and altered it to fit me and I dug out my white gloves and shoes from our wedding. Lauren thought this was all so funny and cool, but was really wishing she could come to the party with me...even though I told her the little girls would be confused if someone was calling Cinderella "mommy". :)

Unfortunately, that birthday party was today - one of the days I have felt the worst since coming down with this illness. But, I knew I had to suck it up and do my best - as I was getting ready, I was praying the Lord would give me the strength to be Cinderella (never did I think I would hear myself say that prayer!).

Everything worked out just fine - the girls were all so excited to see me and they were pretty convinced I was the real deal. I only had to stay for lunch and pictures and then got to come home and crash. I think Ryan is secretly hoping I can keep the dress and start my own side business of doing this for parties. :) Anyway, here are some pictures from my day as a princess...








Lauren's first glimpse of me all dressed up








Getting into character