How About A Little Perspective?

I am not sure why it is, but I seem to do some of my best soul-searching while running on the treadmill. Maybe it's because it is one of the only times during my day when I can escape everything else around me and just think and talk with God. Well, Monday morning, I had the chance to do this. It had been a wonderful weekend of great family time and some good "breaks" for me and there I was, facing another week...and facing my depression about our situation.

As I was running and listening to some good music and talking to God, I felt Him speaking to me. And suddenly, it was like the windows opened up and the sun came shining in. I realized that I have been outwardly "accepting" our current circumstances...but I have been inwardly refusing it. I have basically been saying to God (in my well-perfected passive way) that I am not okay with this change of events so I am going to focus on the negative and allow Satan to discourage me and throw a little pity party for myself. I have been bemoaning to everyone how terrible it is and how much I hate my life right now, etc., etc.

I realized that I haven't been looking at the good things. I haven't even been trying to find the joy in the midst of this trial. And, worst of all, I haven't been allowing God to use this time to grow my faith and teach me something. After all of this hit me, I asked for forgiveness and asked for His strength to help me live each day with joy and thankfulness in my heart. That doesn't mean that I still won't have difficult days or times when I feel hopeless or moments where I am lonely and stressed. But, I now CHOOSE to focus on the good...and in those hard times, remind myself that "this too shall pass".