A Surprise Retreat

Ryan got back from his trip to Maine late last night and informed me this morning that I needed to pack a bag. "For what?", I asked. He said that he had made reservations for me at a hotel in Lexington (overlooking the vineyards), about 30 minutes away, for the weekend. He told me he would handle everything with the kids and any showings and church, etc...but that I needed a weekend of relaxation and quiet.

Of course, at first I was tempted to protest. All these thoughts ran through my head:

• What if he forgets to give Lauren her medicine?
• What if Nolan freaks out because I'm not there to put him to bed?
• How will he do Lauren's hair for church by himself?

But then I realized...he would never suggest this unless he really believed I needed it. And, through tears, I realized that I do need it. I don't know what it is about my personality that makes it so hard for me to ask for help or admit that I am not superwoman. And, truth be told, during difficult times, I usually do rise to the occasion and get everything done. But, lately, the stress of the house sale and Ryan being gone alot and the kids being sick...it has begun to overwhelm me. I haven't been the kind of wife or mother I want to be and the depression has started to creep back in.

I know there will probably be people who read this and think that it's crazy that I'd need a weekend away to recharge. Or people who will think it is selfish of me to do this. But, I am looking forward to using this as an opportunity to spend quiet time with the Lord...to "be still" before Him and allow Him to show me His plan. And for Him to strengthen and encourage me for the road ahead. For the next couple of days, I will be using our blog as a journal, of sorts, to share with you all the ways God is speaking to me and the things He is showing me.

Lastly, and maybe most importantly, I will say this - it takes a very wise, loving and selfless husband to recognize a need in his wife and to provide the means for her to heal. I am incredibly grateful for his sensitivity towards me and his willingness to give me this time.