Another setback

Nolan had his first chiropractic appt on Monday and it went well. The first visit was more of a consultation – she explained to us the kind of work she does on infants and why it is needed for some babies. She also just felt around on his neck and back and was able to pinpoint two areas that definitely needed to be adjusted. But, she did no real work on him that day. We walked away from the appointment feeling comfortable with our decision to pursue this as a treatment option and we scheduled two follow up appointments with her for Wednesday and Friday.

When we went back on Wednesday, she was able to do some “pressure point” adjusting on Nolan. He was as happy as could be the entire time, just smiling at her, like he knew that she was trying to help him feel better. After that day, everything changed. Thursday was one of the best days we have had since Nolan was born. He was taking better naps, not screaming during feedings and was so happy. I was a believer! When we went back to see the chiropractor on Friday, I told her how great things had been and when she inspected the area of his back she had worked on, she could tell that things were right where they were supposed to be. She still has an area on his neck that she needs to continue to treat. So we will go back a few more times for that. But, we are definitely seeing an improvement in him.

Now, for the bad news. Because our pediatrician back home had recommended Prevacid to us, we decided we had waited long enough and this weekend was the time to switch him over to the new medication. We were basically out of the Prilosec anyway, so we figured it made sense to start the new drug, instead of refilling the old one. The problem with the Prevacid is that it is only made in a solutab form…which means, if you were an adult, you would put the tablet on your tongue and let it dissolve. But, for an infant, you have to dissolve the tablet in water and dispense it through a syringe to them. The problem is that the tablet does not completely dissolve – it just dissipates into these little pink beads…which stick to the syringe and it is impossible to get them all out. So, needless to say, he didn’t get the full dose he needed and we are struggling to find a way to get this medication into him.

Because of all this, he has had a very rough day – back to crying during feedings, not taking good naps…and I’m fearful of what the night will bring. I’m tempted to switch back to the Prilosec, only because it was in liquid form and so much easier for him to take. Plus, we were beginning to see him get better, until we decided to switch things up. Talk about miserable – the worst part about treating a child with a chronic illness is that you are constantly second guessing your decisions. Is he waking up early from his nap because he’s hungry or in pain? Is the medication working or is it the chiropractor’s work?

I feel sorry for him, so I find myself making exceptions I didn’t with Lauren. And because he sleeps so little during the day, the naps he does have are necessary for him, so we literally don’t leave the house unless we have to. All grocery shopping is done in the evening while Ryan is giving him a bottle. We don’t go on play-dates or out to lunch or to picnic at the park. I haven’t even taken him to church since he was dedicated on Mother’s Day. My friends from church give me a hard time because I haven't been to all the social events lately and, while I feel badly for being so disconnected right now, I am doing well to just be surviving and not having an emotional breakdown. It's frustrating and hard for people to understand who haven't been through an ordeal like this.

I know that one day life will return to normal and maybe I will have a healthy and happy child. But, some days it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel…and I guess today is just one of those days.