Learning to let go

Once Ryan’s mom left last night, I realized that the countdown had begun. Only two more days until Lauren’s first day of school. We attended the Open House there last week and it was great. We got to meet her teachers and she had a chance to play with her new classmates. But, when we walked into her classroom and I saw her name on the wall, I just lost it. How can it be that my little baby girl is old enough to be going to school already? I know I’m emotional because I’m pregnant, but I am really struggling with letting her go.

I feel like it’s the beginning of the end – because once she starts going to school, it never ends until she leaves the house. Okay, yes, it’s just preschool, but it will be 3 days a week that I won’t get to spend with her. And I’m sure I will be grateful for that time once the baby comes, but for now, there is a deep sadness as I realize that she is growing up and becoming more independent.

I know that school will be a great experience for her to grow and learn and be in a more structured environment…and she is definitely ready for it. But, I also know that I will be that mom in the carpool line on the first day, crying my eyes out as she gets out of the car and marches to her classroom.

On one hand, I am dreading this time of change, but I am also so grateful that I have been able to stay at home with her from the beginning and experience every “first”. I am so proud of the amazing girl she is becoming and I know this is the first of many moments in her life where I must release her into the Lord’s hands and trust that He will be watching over her when I cannot. So, I ask for your prayers as I try to embrace this new stage of life and look forward to starting it all over again with baby #2.